. While you talk with the teacher, the principal, and the superintendent, your most important
conversation is with YOUR
SON.
This is the most important thing you do, or ever will do as a mother of your son.
You sit down with your son and tell him:
- He is a good kid. You should tell him this frequently, as often as once a day, but ONLY when he is alone, NEVER in front of anyone else. Maybe when he is in bed and lights are out, so he is not embarrassed. If he says he doesn’t want to hear that, do it less frequently or in other ways (pat on the back, nice job, etc.) but don’t stop telling him in some way that he is a good kid. This is critical.
- Ask him how his day went. Do this as frequently as he wants to share. If he doesn’t want to share, no problem. Just give him an opportunity. Don’t try to tell him what to do unless he asks. Just listen and sympathize. He’ll probably only tell you the bad stuff, but that’s o.k.
- Tell him you are his advocate. You are on his side.
- Tell him the rules don’t make sense, the system doesn’t work, especially for boys.
- Tell him while he is not the Problem, he IS the Solution. He needs to do the best he can.
- Tell him he is smart, you know it, and that he can and will go to college.
- Tell him it’s o.k. if college takes a little longer, it’s o.k. if he doesn’t just go from high school directly to college, just that college is different and when he is ready and he wants to go, that he will.
- Your interaction with your son is more important than any teacher or school. If you are supportive, then he will do fine. No matter what happens at school.